Barely Astrology

Capricorn

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:00:44 -0400

You’ll yearn for male pattern baldness once diagnosed with male random baldness.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:20:00 -0400

Today you will read a girl like a book: get halfway through then fall asleep.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:19:00 -0400

How low can you go to win a game of Limbo? Can you kill a man?

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:19:00 -0400

When life gives you Kool, make Kool-ade.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:00:00 -0400

You’ll never be master of ceremonies until you let ceremonies master you.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:59:00 -0400

You will be arrested, due in large part to misunderstanding the rules of Elimidate.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:59:00 -0400

Deaf people fart loudly.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:58:00 -0400

Your sex life this week will be volcanic. Like, dormant.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:58:00 -0400

I like people who defy logic. You defy logic, so I hate you.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:57:00 -0400

A brain tumor is one thing, until it crushes the part of your brain used for numbers.

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:52:00 -0400

This week someone, without telling you or ever letting you know, will repeatedly think of you as a “specimen.”

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:30:00 -0400

You’ll become an armchair philosopher. Or … well, a wheelchair philosopher.